Lunch and Learn with Lindsay – Issue 108 – Emotional Intelligence and Self Regulation

Welcome to the third in this Series covering Emotional Intelligence (EI). You can read issue one here and issue two here.

Emotional Intelligence is made up of 5 domains – Self Awareness, Self Regulation, Motivation, Social Skills and Empathy. 

In this issue we’ll consider “Self Regulation” and what you can do to develop your competency in this domain.

Self-Regulation – what is it?

Self-regulation is about staying in control and drawing on your ability to be adaptable and flexible in different situations.

It’s about holding yourself accountable, admitting to your mistakes and not blaming others when things don’t go to plan.

It’s about thinking before you act and becoming more knowledgeable about the emotions you and others will experience during change.

So how can you develop your competence in this domain? 

1. Act on the advice of Emotional Intelligence expert, author and trainer Harvey Deutchendorf who clams that we need to label and identifying our emotions and feelings. Deutechndorf claims that keeping our feelings bottled up and denying them will only make things worse. “putting our feelings out there helps us to manage them as speaking them out loud lessens their impact on us. It also helps us connect and share with others who are feeling the same way. This normalizes what we are feeling and helps us feel connected and supported”.  Build up that A-Z of emotions list I recommended you draw up – and share how you are feeling.

2.  Familiarse yourself with The Change House as detailed in my archive Lunch n Learn post here.   The Change House depicts the different rooms you will reside in when change happens and the emotions you are likely to experience.  Develop your listening and empathy skills to help yourself and others move through the Change House as painlessly as possible as you head to the Integration Room.

3.  Expand your thinking beyond your own perspective.  Stepping into the shoes of someone else to understand what’s going on for them is a powerful, creative technique. Try thinking like: Ghandi, Your mother/father, Your son/daughter, Your younger self, a customer, a colleague, a team member, the Leader of your country or someone you don’t particularly get on with.

4.  Read my article “Just a perfect day” and foster an attitude that doesn’t lay blame or wallow in self-pity. 

5.  Keep your sense of humour and laugh at this image below!


 

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